The Hardest Things to Find are Right Under Your Nose

Japanese Lesson #14: "Rude Japanese Edition"
1) Baka - "stupid, idiot, fool"
2) Kuso - the bad way to say "poop"

Note: depending on context, emphasis and accent, these can mean much much worse things.

On Thursday, I had such a big break in between my two classes that I decided to go to the library. Japanese class finished at 10:30, and my grad seminar didn't start until 4:20. Talk about a long break. I finally got my ID earlier, and headed off to the library to check it out and figure out what to do since I did not bring a book with me to read. I ended up sleeping during most of my break, but I did find a book that I needed in Japanese for my research.

I was using my messenger bag along with my books as a pillow. One thing about Japanese students is that they really zonk out in the library, more than back home, I think. But my messenger bag has just one big pocket and two little pockets on the side, but I never use those, so all of my little stuff (iPod, cell, keys, pens, etc.) always slides about and falls out sometimes. So I just reorganized my crap and went to sleep. The library was cozy and warm, and the seats were mega comfy.

After, I went to class and figured that while my grad class would be hell in some ways, it would be an interesting challenge. After class, I walk down the hill to the bus stop, where I had a sinking feeling that I was missing something. Usually when I have those feelings, its almost true. I go into my back and check for the usual suspects: Nintendo DS, iPod, cell, wallet, chapstick (I don't like the Japanese stuff) - keys. Where are my keys?

WHERE THE HELL ARE MY KEYS?

I dump all my stuff on the ground at the bus stop and I search for my keys. Amongst the kimchi-smell-laden bag (it's gone now thank god, that's my Jack Spade messenger bag!) I see the bright orange interior, but no keys.

OH $%*#&!.

I turn around and practically run back up the hill. On my way, I call Ingram on my cell phone (man this is going to be one heckuva cell phone bill this month) and since he lives in the same 'hood as I do, I asked him if he could go to my building and see if my landlord was there. I then start retracing my steps.

Little shop of cute stuff on the way to school: no keys.
Building where I had grad seminar: no keys.
Building where I had Japanese class: no keys.
Building where I printed some articles: no keys.

Damn, Rits is a big campus.

I run into Ulyana at this point, who helpfully points out that there is an Information Center where I can leave a note - she did this when she lost her keys (but luckily found them on the sidewalk on the way home). Unfortunately, this wasn't the case anymore.

Go to co-op: no keys.
Go to area outside co-op where I sat: no keys.

I begin to panic at this point. I KNEW that they weren't in the Student Union, where I went to the Classical Music Club (Hogakubu) earlier, because I was 110% sure that I did not even open my bag; I did not have my koto picks or my music book so there was no reason for me to open my bag.

Library. I go to the front desk, who directed me to the media lab, and yes I was there earlier that day; otherwise, I would have forgotten. No keys. No keys at the Lost and Found of the library front desk either.

Ingram calls me back: says that my landlord wasn't there, but he got the cell number and I asked him for the number of the company that runs my building. So I call the cell first, but no answer. Good thing too - I almost forgot that in emergencies I call Space Sapiens (the company that runs my building), not my landlord. It's a funky sort of operation, but it works. I just give the rent to my landlord in person.

So, I say bye to Ulyana and call Space Sapiens. The person on the phone was the same guy who I met during the shower drain fiasco; told him my name, the apartment building name and my apartment number and said I lost my keys. I was told that I could get a new one that same night. For 10,500yen, or 105 dollars. We will meet at 8pm outside my apartment building.

Oh, bloody hell. DAMMIT. BAKA! KUSO!

So I was cursing at myself in English, Greek and Japanese for being stupid enough to not a) separate my bike keys (there are two for a reason) so now my bike was stuck at Kyoto Uni (I ride my bike to the northern end of the main campus and park it there, it's right next to the bus stop) and b) for not even thinking about making a spare copy of my apartment key.

I was also mad at myself because my keychains had some sentimental value: I have a "Mister Softee" keychain (because my dad owns a Mister Softee ice cream truck and thus he is our own "Mister Softee"), a keychain that was handmade in London from a friend, and a Fordham keychain in the shape of a mini pennant with the Ram logo and "Queens" on it (Deena got it for me when I was in London during a Commuter Students Association event where there were keychains for all the regions that the commuters come from).

And I was mad because I had to pay $105 for a damn key. Sad, frustrated, and angry, I blast off a bunch of text messages and head off to the bus again. By the time I got on the bus at 7pm, I realized that it would be pretty late for Skype-ing my parents as our usual custom since my mom leaves for work by 7am-ish, so I resorted to the back-up system: emailing her via cell so that way she knows what is up.

The MINUTE I press the "send" button, I had a lightbulb moment - literally, you know in the cartoons where the lightbulb turns on above the head to indicate an idea? I place my bag in front of me, opened the smaller of the two zippered pockets and put my hand inside.

I pull out my keys. All 5 of them (2 are suitcase lock keys) on all 3 keychains. I call up the guy from Space Sapiens and let him know that I found my keys, and confirmed that I didn't have to get the new key and pay the $105, since I caught him before he left for my building.

And then I started to curse in Greek, English and Japanese again, chiding myself for being so stupid. I had put my keys in that particular pocket because at the library, the smaller things were slipping out and my keys were almost irreplaceable.

Everytime someone in my family loses something, I am the one that usually finds it because I go by the mantra "the hardest things to find are under your nose." And I usually find the thing that is missing within 15 minutes, 20 max. Too bad I couldn't take my own medicine so quickly, since it took about an hour to find it.