'Tis The Season...To Get Sniffles

Fa, la, la, la...la, la...bah humbug.

It NEVER fails.

Every year since I have started college, I get sick around the holidays. Particularly after December 15, and before December 25. I am thinking that since final exams are around that time of year, it's due to the stress of school.

Last year, I had tinglings in my throat, and proceeded to hightail it to the Kyoto Uni health center. I got a weird powdered medicine because I had my flight the next day and didn't want it to get worse. This year, they came back with full force last night.

Just like last year, I attempted to will the tinglings to go away (ok, I had medicine, but I prevented it from getting worse before I went to the doctor). And, it worked. I am getting quite good at mentally preventing sore throats (I do not like them, having a bad relationship with my throat and germs since childhood, but never had my tonsils taken out). Luckily, my glands are not swollen. I just feel a bit dry and as if a cold is coming on. Now I am sneezing.

So, when I woke up this morning I called my koto teacher and told her I had a cold and took two Tylenol. No way I was going to ride my bike all the way down to Kujo today. Still, I took the bus down to Kyoto Eki because I was meeting some friends to check out the Toji Temple fair, since I figured I can make do with the bus and some walking about. Even hough the day was pretty decent, I put on my North Face and wrapped my pashmina around my neck securely.

The lady from the travel agency called when I was out; luckily I had a 1-day bus pass so I went back up to Sanjo. Turns out, the final confirmation of my tickets for Australia were ready, and I got the printout. While I went to the Gap and Zara in search of leggings, I began to not feel so hot again so I took the bus home.

Got home and drank orange juice, ate two mikans (Japanese mini mandarin oranges, they are in season now), took more Tylenol and proceeded to just finish a Halls lozenge. I have social engagements this weekend and will NOT let a fever or a cold take me over. That said, I will rest as much as possible (I knitted all afternoon) so that I am somewhat decent for Monday, as I have to start working on my presentation.

Of Wanderlust and Travel Angst

There have been a few things going down here that are a bit unbloggable, hence me being a wee bit down in the dumps.

For one thing (in terms of bloggable stuff), I am procrastinating like no tomorrow on my grad apps - but tomorrow I will whip their butts and get my personal statement done this week.

And for another thing that has lead me to being down in the dumps and hence, AFB (Away from Blog), is the realization that I will quite possibly be alone for Christmas, unless something hopefully comes through. Deena mentioned to me that she was planning to go to Thailand (half Thai = family outside Bangkok) and we had once discussed about me tagging along should this ever come to fruition, and her maybe setting up house on the floor of my apartment in Kyoto for a week or two after (she has been to Japan but wants to come back, and hey, it's a free place to stay). Thing was, a certain someone highly objected to me going, even with Deena.

Now another certain someone just came to the understanding that I will not be going to Thailand by myself - I will be with Deena, (certain someone B thought I wanted to go by myself) she has family there and we would not be spending all our time in "The Beach"/"Brokedown Palace" backpacker world (All I ask is to see a stupa, eat some Thai food in Bangkok and go to this purported amazing flea market).

Now that certain someone B has come to that understanding, the idea of me being alone at Christmas definitely trumps the objections of certain someone A. That, and I am pissed. I do not want to spend Christmas by myself. And if I were to resign myself to that reality, I do not want to sit on my bum at my desk, during my holiday break. I need to get OUT. (That, and Thailand is the most affordable option of the countries that I can choose from during the holidays).

I am not stupid - frankly, I consider myself a quite cautious traveler. I am very aware of me being a tall, Caucasian, blue-eyed and somewhat blonde female in a sea of black (and orange)-haired heads; living in Japan sure as hell makes you more aware of your surroundings, given my physical appearance. In Tokyo, I always felt I was being watched.

I feel antsy. I need to get out of Japan. I feel like I have seen the whole country - and it quite looks the same. I mean there are places that I still haven't gone to yet (Okinawa, Hokkaido, Hiroshima, Nikko, Shikoku with the temple pilgrimage top the list) but I need to get OUT of Japan. I need to see Asia. I will ALWAYS get to go around Japan - but will I get the opportunities that I have now to say, go to Thailand under these pretty decent circumstances? I will be with a friend, and with family. Which is why I am pissed.

I don't want to buy tickets to Hong Kong quite yet in hopes that I go to Australia come January/February (plan being to go Australia via Hong Kong) and if I don't get to go to Australia, I'll just get tix for Hong Kong during February regardless. I am that antsy. Hong Kong is a short and cheap trip - I wouldn't spend no more than 4 days there. I barely have these chances to go to these countries, so I especially want to go while I can. I know I am coming back to Japan in the future, so I will save China for then.

That "Meh" Feeling

So now I am on the plane flying back to Japan. But the weird thing is that I am not overly excited about going back, nor am I bursting into tears at the thought of leaving. Call me crass, call me cold but the thing is – I am used to it by now. Maybe it is also a front to prevent myself from bursting into tears, as I aptly warned Mel while I waited for my dad to give him the key to one of our cars:

“Whatever you do, do NOT act in such a way that will make me burst into tears.”
“What, who is gonna cry?” (:::chuckle chuckle:::)
“My new mascara is not waterproof.”

Miraculously, there were NO delays, problems, or flight attendants that overslept and delayed the flight. (Seriously, that was one of the cause for my delays previously.)

So now that I have finished eating my dinner (which has shrimp cocktail, whee!!) I will recount quite quickly what has happened this past month and in particular the past few days (since I hardly blog during the summers):

1) When I actually arrived back on August 3, I burst into tears when I saw Mel and hugged him. He was carrying a bouquet of yellow roses and irises, and everyone at Newark was asking him where he got it (that airport is very gross).
2) I rode my bike through Central Park on the weekend once when they close the roads to cars. And I did the very hard hill as well – it was so much fun going down that steep hill and not having to pedal. I think maybe with two or three years, I will upgrade to a road bike. At one point, Mel went way ahead of me, simply because he has the higher bike. However, I am able to carry my bike up and down the stairs on the subway system.
3) Did not study at all. And I am very happy that I did not.
4) But that didn’t mean that school was far from my mind. As mentioned previously, I requested transcripts from Fordham (free!) and realized at the last minute that I needed transcripts from CUNY Hunter where I took Japanese for a year. Now, CUNY being CUNY and my realization that I needed them just at the start of the school year made me freak out because with the start of school it’s a downright mess. Luckily, I was also able to request them online – cost me an extra $10 and its already $7 a copy, but I did not have to go through all that hassle.
5) Spoke with also a 2nd year student from uni that I am eyeing, same one as 6th year. I feel way, way better now, even though I did spend $55 on “Get your butt into grad school/Get your butt out of grad school” books. But it was for my own sanity. Applying to grad school is one thing. Applying from a foreign country is quite another.
6) Ate a lot of red meat and other things that I really shouldn’t have. Now I really need to get my ass to the gym.
7) Bought “The Historian” and am reading it now on the plane. That is SUCH a detailed book and it moves at a steady pace. But sometimes I think some things are obvious, HOWEVER I would not be surprised if my musings were wrong, either.
8) Saw the 5th Harry Potter movie at the movie theaters on 66th and Broadway. It was in IMAX 3D, or rather, Mel and I paid the extra $5 to see the finale in the Ministry of Magic in 3D. Those Death Eaters are very creepy in 3D.
9) Got my hair cut and I got blond highlights. I have had highlights every other two years or so since I was 15 (because they blend well with my hair I just let them grow out and I don't do touch ups) but I am on the fence on how they look since I am used to my natural hair color now - it's been a LONG time.

Very much a blur this month – it really did go by fast. The interesting twist to the end of my month is that the same day that I left for Japan, my sister is leaving this evening for her year in Rome. I tried to get her on the blog thing but she isn’t interested. Pity – she always has a comment for something. I think she is on the plane now, but hasn’t departed; another wrinkle is that we left from the two different local airports in the NYC area (but not Newark).

She connects in Dublin and arrives in Rome at 10:00-ish local time, which actually, is about the same time that I land in Japan (6:30pm Osaka time is about, oh, 11:30 Rome time? Not sure but it’s in that window). Maybe I will swipe a photo or two off her Facebook profile to give a taste of Italy via Japan – she gets to go to all the other cities for SCHOOL TRIPS. Milan! Florence! Naples! All within the space of 3 months (that is just the first semester!). I’m jealous. Then again, Mel wants to go to Italy for the honeymoon. I want to go to the Amalfi coast.

These next four months will be a blur – especially till about December 15, which is the deadline for applications. I have the following on my plate:

1) TA-ing for Professor S./Taking that Kyoto history course
2) More Classical Japanese lessons/twiddling my thumbs in my sensei’s seminar.
3) Working on some sort of paper for my seminar and attempt to do the presentation come the last week of January 2008 in Japanese.
4) Fixing the last paper for my writing sample for grad applications.
5) FINISHING those Grad applications.
6) Studying for JLPT Level 2 (thought I am not sure now if I am really ready but I would just study on my own to prepare for next year, need to speak to Colleen on this).
7) Applying for scholarships to pay for grad school (there are two that I qualify for, as per my talk with the scholarships office back at Fordham).

All I know is that THANK GOD that I took the GRE in my senior year of college. I do not have that stress as well. And I was happy with my score too.

Sitting in a Very Tiny Boat, Floating in a VERY Large Ocean

I requested my transcripts for application to grad school last week. I have been having some freakouts these past few months, mainly consisting of "What am I going to do with my life?" and "Do I really want to do a Ph.d in History?", "Is it worth it?", etc. etc.

Recently, I have been going through that period of stress that college seniors usually get in their final semester, I didn't have because I knew what I was going to do after college back in January '06. That's pretty early. So, it's a very delayed reaction, to the point that I was considering going to law school, but I don't think that's a good fit for me. So for now, Plan A is to submit applications, and think for the next 7 months. I have all the paperwork (sans personal statement) ready for "Ph.d History applications" so I might as well put them in. Besides, one of them is going to be free.

Prof. S. put me in contact with a 6th year Ph.d. student over at one of the schools that I am seriously, seriously eyeing. I called him up yesterday and we had a nice chat. I reiterated what I told PRof. S. about my anxieties regarding grad school: "Sometimes I feel that I am in this very tiny boat, in a very large ocean."

I am all by myself in Japan, at least departmental-wise. I do not have access to the research lab/room for the kids in my department (we need to swipe IDs and the grad student was really surprised to hear that) and the grad students going for a degree treat me like I am over there, and they are over here. Like Iam this wierd species, and I seriously think one of them just hates me on principle because I am not Japanese, in the same program that he is in and that I am just taking up space since I am on scholarship and not going for a degree.

It's extremely hierarchical there and I hate it. I wished I was back over at Kyodai or something bcause in all seriousness, the only good thing about Rits is my professor. Even my friends who were research students were granted access into the research labs when they were research students at Kyodai. I just have the overcrowded library.

Which is why next semester, I am quite happy that I am just going in once a week on Thursdays for my sensei's seminar; I can study in the library at Kyodai which is nicer and I have my computer access code still in use, and Chen's extra library card to get in. And I will save money too - taking the bus took quite a toll on my fiannces everyday and I coulnd't get the collge discount because I was not considered an actualy college student. Load of crap that was.

In short, I had no one to talk to about grad school especially those in the US and I was freaking out. 6th year student told me that it was totally normal and everyone in the first year goes through that "WTF am I doing here?" phase. It's good to know that I am not the only one, but let me tell you, Japan is lonely. Good thing I am going to TA this semester, else I would not have much to look forward too, really.

There is a big pause button on my life, being in Japan and while I do enjoy my time there and an gratefull for my experiences there I am ready to move onward. Even if that means scaring the crap out of myself, and stepping into unknown and unsure territory.

I made a schedule for this coming semester this time, blocking out periods of time to do things, since I am only going to be in class for no more than 6 hours a week, with Ta-ing, Bungo lessons with my sensei and me twiddling my thumbs in the back of his seminar.

I tried it last semester and while it was good in theory, I totally messed up because I took too many classes. I think I am not going to take Japanese in the fall at Kyodai if I can (rather study on my own for JLPT), save say one composition course or something, no more than two or three. I have not tried a composition course yet, and I would like to jazz up my speaking and listening maybe (though I hardly doubt I'll take the listening, I didn't like the one I took last time). Mybe not speaking either, since I plan to rejoin the KIXS (International Student exchange group at Kyodai) and just start talking at the weekly dinners.

But I will continue with the gym. I was thinking of ending my membership but I can afford it if I budget. I was a totaly mess last semester.

NOT *&%$^! FAIR

(Warning: Regular scheduled blogging has been interrupted. The sarcastic levels are at full blast and the caustic levels are sky high. I am pissed.)

Today I went to the Kamo River to enjoy the sun and read my book. I brought two books with me - the Japanese Outlander and Under the Tuscan Sun. Only when I arrived at the river did I realize I forgot the Japanese dictionary for my DS; as close to the river as I am, I wasn't up for going back just to get the cartrige. So I read as much as I could, and switched over to the English book.

I have become a bit wary of reading books in English in public, unless I am at a cafe other than Starbucks. At Starbucks you can easily move about, so to speak, whereas at a cafe you sit in the place that the waitress tells you to and that's it. I make this distinction because it was at Starbucks where a strange man just sat down right next to me and started to speak to me. Then the next day, when I was at the Kamo River, a younger guy walking a dog came up to me and tried to talk to me. They see the English and see that I am an English speaker.

Twice, I was able to prevent anything going further because I pretended that I didn't speak English: back in December and last week. The guy last week even asked me if I was an English teacher. I just walked off. I couldn't even find a nice quiet place to sit in the area where that guy was just because he was there and I didn't want him to pester me. It is REALLY annoying, and has become to the point where I feel I cannot go to a park or the river anymore.

Ah yes, it's another story of where middle-aged men come up to Maria - "Look, foreigner with light skin and light hair!" Really, THANK GOD it was a sunny day today so that I wore my sunglasses; just IMAGINE if they saw the color of my eyes! Then FOR SURE, they would really go gaga. I am SICK of it.

I read English books and they come up to me for English practice. I read Japanese books and they are SO AMAZED that they come up to me to speak to me in Japanese. Of course, I look TOTALLY harmless - young, Caucasian female all alone and just reading a book.

I have mentioned more than once that across the Kamo River, there are these stepping stones. Well, the day as hot and the tide was low and everyone else was doing it, so I went to the stones, plopped myself down and stuck my feet in the river and continued to read Under the Tuscan Sun. The water was cool and I was enjoying the day. People were crossing behind me to get to the other stones but that was alright.

I felt someone pass by me; out of the corner of my eye, I saw a white polo and navy blue trousers. At the stone right next to me, the man stopped, turneed around and knelt RIGHT NEXT to me and started to talk to me - he asked if I spoke Japanese. I knew I was caught between a rock and a hard place right there - I couldn't say that I didn't speak Japanese because then I would bet you my scholarship the guy would start speaking to me in English. I THEN can't say that I am not an English speaker, because I have an English book in my hands - the other two times, I was just walking and obviously, no one walks while reading.

So, I just muttered "yes" and turned back to my book. I was ready to pick up and go, but that would show that I was uncomfortable. Frankly, I do not care if I am downright rude to these men; I will just blatantly ignore them if it gets it through their thick skulls that I am not to be spoken to, and just "FARK THE BLOODY HELL OFF". Even when I have my iPod on they still come up to me. So I turned back to my book without saying anything other than a very almost inaudible "Yes." The man walked off. He was too smiley when he saw me, it creeped me out.

Later, another man crosses the stones - he takes a look at me, starts muttering stuff at me and when I don't reciprocate, he jut walks past me, starts muttering even louder as he turned around and directed the muttering at me. I had enough. After he left, I dried my feet off and left. They totally ruined my day and I was now again wary of other people coming up to me - two already! And in the space of 10 minutes.

My point is that middle-aged men are coming up to me in Starbucks, at the Kamo River and I get no peace whatsoever; I am all too aware that I stick out from here to kingdom come and I don't need to feel like I am being watched or am a target. IT'S NOT FAIR - people would say that this is one of the things about Japan but when it makes you nervous then it's not fun. It's not fun how I cannot enjoy the Kamo River like everyone else because of the way I look and what I read, unless I am with one other person.

Granted most of the time it is probably harmless, but better to be safe than sorry. People could think that I am overreacting - "Maria! You grew up in NYC!" - but I am by myself here; as a male friend pointed out when I told him this: "Yeah I do meet a lot of people that way [just running into people] but its different for a girl." At least I am keeping all the alarm bells in my head but still I am quite sick of it, and very glad I am going home next week. I really do need a break more than ever.

People can say that I can cover my book - I even have a Japanese book cover for my Japanese novels, but I think that no matter what precautions I take, it still won't happen. Tomorrow, I am going to go to Bon-Bon, have an iced coffee for 300yen and hopefully enjoy the sight of the Kamo River from there.

Wonk, Snarf

Not much to blog about.

It was 82 degrees today and I got to use my Yojiya oil blotting paper twice. Thank god there is an outlet in Torrance, CA and I can order from them - but that wont stop me getting about 100 little booklets of the stuff (x20=2000 sheets, hmm three year supply?) since my income is in the yen anyway.

Tomorrow I am going to wear my new cropped jacket, with my pearls, navy blue t-shirt, Citizens jeans and pink flats.

Went to the gym today after a long hiatus and have more reinvigoration to get back on the points watch for the diet, and making bento boxes for lunch is fun and healthy. Powerwalked for 2km, rode the bike for 7km = 9km = 5.6 miles. OoOoO. Now multiply that by 4 (since that is the number of times a week I intend to go to the gym) = 22.4 miles per week. My goal is about 20 miles a week either by powerwalking/stationary bike (I can keep it at above 90rpm so I do the 7km in 20 minutes) so that is about...32km divided by 4...at least 8km per session needs to be reached.

My peonies are blooming, but the last two aren't open enough yet - trust me they warrant their own post, as I have been taking photos of their progress.

Wonk, snarfle.

I Can Get No Peace

The weather is beautiful today. Sunny skies, 68 degrees Fahrenheit (don't ask me to convert it to Celsius for you Metric users), the birds were chirping, etc. etc. Since I live near the Kamo River I decided I would go again and chill out on a bench, and do some readings that I have been procrastinating about since last December for my research. Packed some green tea in my thermos, brought and orange, whole wheat crackers and bought a new highlighter, and I was off and running. Or rather, riding.

The usual suspects were along the Kamo River: dog walkers, elderly couples, a few tourists on bikes, young families, old biddies cleaning up the trash, college and high school students. I was minding my own business when a man walking a Shiba Inu (a Japanese dog, I want to get one - or an Akita - and name it either Daisuke or Miyako/Miya for short) took a look at me and started to walk in my direction.

"Hello," he said in a pretty clear voice.

Several things ran through my mind:

1) Ok, I am a mild sucker for Shiba Inus, and I like to look at them. He has a nice dog.
2) Hmm...his English isn't that badly accented.
3) Oh dammit - AGAIN strange people are talking to me! Please, just leave me alone.

Luckily for me, I was actually packing up my things, because it got too windy. I politely answered his question of "Are you a student?" (pretty obvious because I was wielding photocopied text and a highlighter) and turned back to put my bag in my bike basket. I guess he got the picture that he either probably freaked me out or that I was leaving so he just walked away and threw his ball with his dog.

I then rode my bike up along the bike path on the eastern side of the river under the blooming cherry blossoms (not totally out yet) and bought some tulips from a houseware/Home Depot/Ikea-ish store that is near me.

Why You All Up in Mah Grill?

Seriously!

SERIOUSLY!

(ok, I have been watching too much Grey's Anatomy).

But why, oh why do strange people come up to talk to me in English for no reason other than thinking "OoOoO...gaijin - American! Let me practice my English with someone." For those that don't remember, I was once practically acosted by a Japanese Jehovah's Witness outside the post office. I never mentioned this before, but when I was on my way to visit the War Museum in Seoul, a woman in the subway almost grabbed my arm for no apparent reason and that freaked me out. They just don't DO this sort of thing back home - talking to strangers for no apparent reason. You ALWAYS have to have a pretty legitimate reason to strike up a conversation with someone.

I was at the Sanjo Starbucks today because it was nice out and unlike the Kyoto cafe's I can get alot of regular coffee and sit there for ours without having to worry about the waiters and waitresses wanting to kick me out. Plus, the one cafe that I like - Ogawa - is a wee bit pricey and better to go with another person. Starbucks is for when you are by yourself.

So I was sitting on the little green couches in the front overlooking the Kamo-river, reading some stuff for my research, when I hear an accented voice in my direction. Lo and behold, an old Japanese man is talking to me with the strangest grin on his face that looked like "Eureka! I got her attention!" Stupid me, I didn't have my iPod in my ears because I wanted to listen to the river and the general hum of Starbucks instead of The Reindeer Section being blasted into my ears to cover that hum.

So this man is trying to talk to me, and I answer in mumbled sentences so he deduces what he thinks I said, and lying about the school that I go to (I am not a very good liar, but I lie when I can). It was a bit rude of me but I just kept going back to my reading after I answered his question and again after answering again, until I decided that I was going to text a friend with "Call me, save me!" and pray that they got the text so that they can call me and cut the conversation short. Just as I picked up my phone and started to fiddle with it, the old man just said, "Nice to meet you" and then we shook hands.

After that, I stuck my iPod headphones promptly in my ears, but I didn't turn it on. The hum and the sound of the river was still nice.

Who is Scared?

Oh holy crap.

I am shaking.

Seriously.

Why?

I am leaving in a week and a half.

I am TERRIFIED. I am sh*t-scared (pardon the phrase). I seriously don't know why. When I went to London I was actually thrilled to bounce the country. I have my Japanese guidebooks, got maps, will be getting suitcases on Friday, someone will pick me up, no problems, right?

WRONG.

DEAD WRONG.

I cried for two nights in a row.

Yeah this is bad. I am writing this in a moment of sheer panic, and my hands are still shaking.

I think it's because the stakes are a bit higher now, and I learned some really important lessons from London.

And - I have a bit of an impediment. Just a "small" one.

I freeze when I speak Japanese. Dead serious.

Impediment, that!

I finally got in contact with the international house that I will be staying at to confirm my date and I haven't gotten an email back yet. Granted that it took almost a month for the lady over there to respond to my email last time, I (naturally) started to panic. What does Maria do when she panics?

Off to google we go! I love that site.

I found a wrong number for the house, and then this evening - bam! I got the right number and after three tries I got through. Told them that I sent an email about my arrival. However, this conversation showed to me that I am terrified about going.

Did I mention that I almost pulled the plug two weeks ago?

Let Yourself Go, Let Myself Go

During the summer, it is not impossible to lose track of the days and the weeks. When I went to Greece back in 2002, I had to ask someone every few days what the date was. This goes to show when people (maybe just me?) are out of their "native habitat" shall we say, we just tend to let everything go. Even the day of the week - unless you wear a watch that tells the date. I do not wear a watch - like most people my age, I rely on my cell phone to tell the time. However, I would like to get a watch soon. I am tired of relying on my cell phone, sometimes I just want to throw it out a window. But I can't. The world these days wants everyone tied to a tether of some sort or another and most of the time that leash is invisible.

Sometimes, a cell can be useful, especially when you are down in the Bowery and you need someone to be a backup for a concert when the person your with doesn't have proper ID even with a student ID. I called about 5 people before I found someone(s) to be a backup. Needless to say, my friend was able to get in and the someones as well. The security guard was actually nice.
Nonetheless, I really do wish that I did not have to rely on it so much.

I had recently established a pattern for the week:

Count for 4.5 days and that is I when I do not go to work. Count for 2.5 and that is when I do.

Given that I am only on some sort of schedule for half of the week, and that my mother is not on vacation yet so she can remind me to clean my room and tell me what day of the week it is, I have been quite out of character for the past few weeks. Even to the point of being slovenly. Granted, me being slovenly only amounts to not making my bed in the morning and having a few random things strewn across my desk because I like to switch my bag in accordance with my outfit or my mood and hence, I have to empty the previous bag and leave a few things out if the bag isn't big enough. (I cannot carry my iPod, cell phone, wallet, various little miscellany that a girl always carries, a book to read AND my humongous planner in my green bag).

In short, I like bags. I like to carry stuff in my bags. I like to feel that I have what I need (band-aids, gum, bottle of water, tylenol, etc. etc.) in case I come across an ailment as I pound the pavement in my inter-borough travels. My pencilcase is a microcosm of my theory of bags: highlighters, colored pens, pencils, mini-stapler, you name it I have it. In high school, my nickname was "Staples" for very good reason.

So me being a mess. In London, my room was pristine with a very big P. My flatmates and friends were aghast at the organization. My textbooks were in order according to size and category. I do the same thing with my closet - organize by type, then style, color, and fabric. It helps keep my sweaters in order.

But recently?

My desk has been an utter disaster. Seriously. More so than usual; during finals time my room does lapse, especially my desk. Sometimes I will just stack my papers and journal articles neatly and just deal with it after finals. Every semester, when my mom starts to look in my room - she usually doesn't, as she knows that my room is a mess only when I don't have time to clean it due to schoolwork - I have to remind her of the deal we made back in freshman year: Leave me and my room alone during the second week of December and the second week of May and there will be no harm done to either party and I will tidy and reorganize in the third week of December and May when the madness is done. That is all I ask for.

As you can probably surmise, my mother is a neat freak. It has rubbed off on me (ALOT, I can be really anal-retentive when it comes to ordering my textbooks in size order. My 3rd-grade teacher told my mother at Parent-Teacher Conference that I had the neatest desk in the class because of my ordering the textbooks on one side, workbooks and notebooks on the other in accordance to size and category). But my dad is an utter slob so I have a bit of that too.

However, being really organized does pay off, given the profession that I want to go into. I like tidy offices. I also like tidy offices that look really nice and have character. My favorite professor's office was my Global Inequalities professor back in Fall '05 - not only did she have everything organized - even binders in accordance with the class she was teaching to keep materials in check - but she even had a side table with a cute little lamp next to the chair that students sit next to. And she even had a bulletin board! Those rock. I'm going to try and get myself one of those (or even the bits of cork) in my room in Kyoto.

But back to my disaster of a desk. Little papers and receipts strewn over the desk, 600-page novels stacked upon my laptop (obviously not a good idea, but this is the laptop that I am ready to chuck and the novels are in paperback so it's not an issue). iPod and cell phone chargers, cell phone headset and other miscellaneous wires for my digital camera, Mel's dad's digital photo printer, etc. I should take a photo of my desk and put it on Flickr with notes, just like how people take photos of what's in their bag and post it on Flickr. Everything tells a story, so long as you have a narrator to tell it.

I feel like I have just woken out of a reverie - or maybe a mental vacation? - and I finally tidied up my desk before I went to the Cat Empire concert on Tuesday down at the Bowery.

So I have been working on getting my act together. I am an "adult" now, so I have to keep track of the days - both the date and the day of the week.

That means I have to put the twenty-odd textbooks that are totally irrelevant on Half.com for sale.

And empty out my desk.

Those "little things" certainly do pile up.