NOT *&%$^! FAIR

(Warning: Regular scheduled blogging has been interrupted. The sarcastic levels are at full blast and the caustic levels are sky high. I am pissed.)

Today I went to the Kamo River to enjoy the sun and read my book. I brought two books with me - the Japanese Outlander and Under the Tuscan Sun. Only when I arrived at the river did I realize I forgot the Japanese dictionary for my DS; as close to the river as I am, I wasn't up for going back just to get the cartrige. So I read as much as I could, and switched over to the English book.

I have become a bit wary of reading books in English in public, unless I am at a cafe other than Starbucks. At Starbucks you can easily move about, so to speak, whereas at a cafe you sit in the place that the waitress tells you to and that's it. I make this distinction because it was at Starbucks where a strange man just sat down right next to me and started to speak to me. Then the next day, when I was at the Kamo River, a younger guy walking a dog came up to me and tried to talk to me. They see the English and see that I am an English speaker.

Twice, I was able to prevent anything going further because I pretended that I didn't speak English: back in December and last week. The guy last week even asked me if I was an English teacher. I just walked off. I couldn't even find a nice quiet place to sit in the area where that guy was just because he was there and I didn't want him to pester me. It is REALLY annoying, and has become to the point where I feel I cannot go to a park or the river anymore.

Ah yes, it's another story of where middle-aged men come up to Maria - "Look, foreigner with light skin and light hair!" Really, THANK GOD it was a sunny day today so that I wore my sunglasses; just IMAGINE if they saw the color of my eyes! Then FOR SURE, they would really go gaga. I am SICK of it.

I read English books and they come up to me for English practice. I read Japanese books and they are SO AMAZED that they come up to me to speak to me in Japanese. Of course, I look TOTALLY harmless - young, Caucasian female all alone and just reading a book.

I have mentioned more than once that across the Kamo River, there are these stepping stones. Well, the day as hot and the tide was low and everyone else was doing it, so I went to the stones, plopped myself down and stuck my feet in the river and continued to read Under the Tuscan Sun. The water was cool and I was enjoying the day. People were crossing behind me to get to the other stones but that was alright.

I felt someone pass by me; out of the corner of my eye, I saw a white polo and navy blue trousers. At the stone right next to me, the man stopped, turneed around and knelt RIGHT NEXT to me and started to talk to me - he asked if I spoke Japanese. I knew I was caught between a rock and a hard place right there - I couldn't say that I didn't speak Japanese because then I would bet you my scholarship the guy would start speaking to me in English. I THEN can't say that I am not an English speaker, because I have an English book in my hands - the other two times, I was just walking and obviously, no one walks while reading.

So, I just muttered "yes" and turned back to my book. I was ready to pick up and go, but that would show that I was uncomfortable. Frankly, I do not care if I am downright rude to these men; I will just blatantly ignore them if it gets it through their thick skulls that I am not to be spoken to, and just "FARK THE BLOODY HELL OFF". Even when I have my iPod on they still come up to me. So I turned back to my book without saying anything other than a very almost inaudible "Yes." The man walked off. He was too smiley when he saw me, it creeped me out.

Later, another man crosses the stones - he takes a look at me, starts muttering stuff at me and when I don't reciprocate, he jut walks past me, starts muttering even louder as he turned around and directed the muttering at me. I had enough. After he left, I dried my feet off and left. They totally ruined my day and I was now again wary of other people coming up to me - two already! And in the space of 10 minutes.

My point is that middle-aged men are coming up to me in Starbucks, at the Kamo River and I get no peace whatsoever; I am all too aware that I stick out from here to kingdom come and I don't need to feel like I am being watched or am a target. IT'S NOT FAIR - people would say that this is one of the things about Japan but when it makes you nervous then it's not fun. It's not fun how I cannot enjoy the Kamo River like everyone else because of the way I look and what I read, unless I am with one other person.

Granted most of the time it is probably harmless, but better to be safe than sorry. People could think that I am overreacting - "Maria! You grew up in NYC!" - but I am by myself here; as a male friend pointed out when I told him this: "Yeah I do meet a lot of people that way [just running into people] but its different for a girl." At least I am keeping all the alarm bells in my head but still I am quite sick of it, and very glad I am going home next week. I really do need a break more than ever.

People can say that I can cover my book - I even have a Japanese book cover for my Japanese novels, but I think that no matter what precautions I take, it still won't happen. Tomorrow, I am going to go to Bon-Bon, have an iced coffee for 300yen and hopefully enjoy the sight of the Kamo River from there.