No Speak English

Japanese lesson #9:

1) Unn...Chotto...: VERY useful phrase to indicate "Umm..." - used in awkward situations, when you are put on the spot or when you just don't want to answer the question. No effective version in English, unfortunately.

Today after class, I went to the post office to get some money. For those that aren't in the know, the post office also serves as a bank. It's called the "postal savings." Every person in Japan (at least every adult) has one. You can pay your bills, make wire transfers, etc. etc. What's great especially for foreigners is that in a pinch, you can use your international ATM card. They won't work anywhere else. And there is a pretty useful guide in English. I am comfortable enough with my Japanese to use the ATM in Japanese; I just dont want to screw up. Every Monbusho scholarship student has to have one - it's how we get our stipends.

Went to my local post office, which is less than a minute bike ride away. I could in theory walk to the post office, but whenever I do go there (as well as Family Mart, the local combini) I always use my bike. Why? I get there faster. Plus, it's not like I have to lug a bike up and down a hill anymore. Each officially designated neighborhood in Kyoto has its own post office. Within my neighborhood of Yoshida, there are three to five smaller cho, or groups of blocks. My neighborhood also has a local shrine, aplty called Yoshida Jinja. I plan to go to it (finally!) tomorrow. I kind of feel stupid not going to the local shrine, especially when it is a one minute bike ride away.

So I did my personal housekeeping (as they call it) schtick at the post office, and went back outside to go home.

Head down, key in bike, unlock bike.

Head up, and all-smiley Japanese lady practically right in my face.

Japanese lady: "Hello. Do you speak English?"

Me (thinking that she was going to solicit me for English lessons, which is something that I don't want to do here): "Unn..chotto...hanasemasu." (Umm...I can a bit)

Japanese lady: "Oh, no speak english? I am from a Christian group...yada yada yada..."

I decided to blank out at this point. For one thing, it would contribute to the "Umm, I don't speak English so well," so it would shorten the conversation and make me look a little clueless, and second, I didn't like the fact that this lady stopped in the middle of her bike ride just because my face isn't Japanese to talk to me about some evangelical Christian group she belongs to. Furthermore, even though I did perfectly fit into the stereotype of "Caucasian = Non-Japanese = English speaker = Christian," what if I wasn't really an English speaker or a Christian of one stripe or another?

This is why typecasting and stereotyping is a) somewhat rampant here and b) utterly ridiculous and inherently flawed. My friend Alisa is trying to get internet in her building and in spite of the fact that her Japanese is very decent for her to get the account, she told me of how the internet representatives (when they were at her building for an information session) actually panicked, and had to shove one of the guys in the front to talk to her. She is constantly being pushed from one person to the next over the phone, even though she is speaking to them in Japanese. She says something in Japanese which is totally coherent (for her Japanese is better than mine and she is more comfortable using it than me, I am still a bit shy) and they tell her, "Sorry, no speak english." Same thing went down at the bank - the ladies at the information desk actually said, "YOU go speak to the gaijin."

Being Caucasian an American automatically does not make. In theory, I can say I am Canadian and actually would be telling the truth. I can thank my mom for that.

This is also why I kept replying in Japanese to religion pushing Japanese lady. When she finally finished talking and handed me a Jehovah's Witness magazine, she finally asked me where I was from. For a minute I kind of blanked out (because I was finally coming back down to earth), and then she repeated her question:

Japanese lady: "Dochira kara kimashita ka?" ("Where are you from?")

Me: "Girisha" ("Greece." Serves her right for her thinking automatically that I am an English speaker.)

Japanese Lady (In English): "Ah! Greek! ...Welcome to Kyoto!"

It's not that I am against the religion. Practice what you wish. What I don't agree with are solicitation tactics.

And don't bloody stereotype me.

Treloi anthropoi.