A Crash Course in MY Big Fat Greek/Filipino Wedding

Who woulda thought with the postponement of the wedding to TWO years off, I would have a very remotely related wedding-themed post in the month of August 2007? With most bloggers that I know getting married (COngrats!) it has made me think of my own wedding.

My mom and I took Cleo, one of our cats two the vet. Leah was going to meet us there after work. Cleo actually behaves better than Caesar (who is thisclose to getting a sedative the next time he goes so he can get checked) so when Leah came to the vet, my mom wanted to go to this store Markella's across the street. It sells stuff related to weddings and baptisms, with a Greek twist of course. This is Astoria, where there are 4 Greek Orthodox Churches within a 10 block radius. It's also a place that you can make a bridal registry say for china - I figured that out when I saw the Kate Spade display case and began to drool internally, for now my mother can finally see what I go gaga about.

Even though Mel and I are of different religions, we are getting married in a Greek Orthodox Church. They are very plain outside, but ornately decorated inside in the Byzantine style. In fact, we are going to get married in the same church that I was baptized in, and my parents got married in in 1981. I also went there for Sunday School and (blech) for a time Greek school.

There is a ramp that leads up to the main entrance on the second floor; when my parents got married, the photographer had the entire bridal party line up along the ramp, and he took a picture from the street. I have seen the picture, and in a nod to my parents I want to do the same thing. It has recently finished a massive renovation/restoration and it looks fantastic.

If you have seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (yes, cue the jokes here) you know what a Greek wedding is like. There are these crowns called stefana that the bride and the groom wear (and the ribbon is held by the koumbaro, i.e. best man but it can be a girl so long as they are orthodox - Mel's best friend from college is Bulgarian) and they walk around the altar. My mom wanted to see what Markella had to offer in terms of stefana, and the boubounieres, which are the favors.

You also need lambades, which are just big fancy candles trussed up for the occasion. Luckily, since orthodox churches are mega fancy with paintings covering every inch of the walls, you don't really need to go all out in decorating the church. Since St. Catherine & George's (the church) is redone it will most definitely not need much.

Most of the stefana are downright gaudy, like sparkly versions of a white olive wreath connected with ribbon, and just short of a princesse's tiara. I wanted something different. Miraculously we both liked this one in particular - it sorta like a crown made of gold wire tightly wound to make the circlet, with small flowers in cream with a (few, very, very few, I really don't like bling) crystals. Simple, but elegant and modern.

All of the stefana are imported from Greece, and with Astoria being the way it is, you don't have to worry about asking your yiayia to get you stefana from Greece. They even have the cases for the stefana; my parents still have their stefana in the case in their bedroom. Their case looks like a little church, but more modern styles still have the icon inside - either painted or in silver - and it comes in more contemporary shapes, like oval or round.

Sitting in a Very Tiny Boat, Floating in a VERY Large Ocean

I requested my transcripts for application to grad school last week. I have been having some freakouts these past few months, mainly consisting of "What am I going to do with my life?" and "Do I really want to do a Ph.d in History?", "Is it worth it?", etc. etc.

Recently, I have been going through that period of stress that college seniors usually get in their final semester, I didn't have because I knew what I was going to do after college back in January '06. That's pretty early. So, it's a very delayed reaction, to the point that I was considering going to law school, but I don't think that's a good fit for me. So for now, Plan A is to submit applications, and think for the next 7 months. I have all the paperwork (sans personal statement) ready for "Ph.d History applications" so I might as well put them in. Besides, one of them is going to be free.

Prof. S. put me in contact with a 6th year Ph.d. student over at one of the schools that I am seriously, seriously eyeing. I called him up yesterday and we had a nice chat. I reiterated what I told PRof. S. about my anxieties regarding grad school: "Sometimes I feel that I am in this very tiny boat, in a very large ocean."

I am all by myself in Japan, at least departmental-wise. I do not have access to the research lab/room for the kids in my department (we need to swipe IDs and the grad student was really surprised to hear that) and the grad students going for a degree treat me like I am over there, and they are over here. Like Iam this wierd species, and I seriously think one of them just hates me on principle because I am not Japanese, in the same program that he is in and that I am just taking up space since I am on scholarship and not going for a degree.

It's extremely hierarchical there and I hate it. I wished I was back over at Kyodai or something bcause in all seriousness, the only good thing about Rits is my professor. Even my friends who were research students were granted access into the research labs when they were research students at Kyodai. I just have the overcrowded library.

Which is why next semester, I am quite happy that I am just going in once a week on Thursdays for my sensei's seminar; I can study in the library at Kyodai which is nicer and I have my computer access code still in use, and Chen's extra library card to get in. And I will save money too - taking the bus took quite a toll on my fiannces everyday and I coulnd't get the collge discount because I was not considered an actualy college student. Load of crap that was.

In short, I had no one to talk to about grad school especially those in the US and I was freaking out. 6th year student told me that it was totally normal and everyone in the first year goes through that "WTF am I doing here?" phase. It's good to know that I am not the only one, but let me tell you, Japan is lonely. Good thing I am going to TA this semester, else I would not have much to look forward too, really.

There is a big pause button on my life, being in Japan and while I do enjoy my time there and an gratefull for my experiences there I am ready to move onward. Even if that means scaring the crap out of myself, and stepping into unknown and unsure territory.

I made a schedule for this coming semester this time, blocking out periods of time to do things, since I am only going to be in class for no more than 6 hours a week, with Ta-ing, Bungo lessons with my sensei and me twiddling my thumbs in the back of his seminar.

I tried it last semester and while it was good in theory, I totally messed up because I took too many classes. I think I am not going to take Japanese in the fall at Kyodai if I can (rather study on my own for JLPT), save say one composition course or something, no more than two or three. I have not tried a composition course yet, and I would like to jazz up my speaking and listening maybe (though I hardly doubt I'll take the listening, I didn't like the one I took last time). Mybe not speaking either, since I plan to rejoin the KIXS (International Student exchange group at Kyodai) and just start talking at the weekly dinners.

But I will continue with the gym. I was thinking of ending my membership but I can afford it if I budget. I was a totaly mess last semester.

Umm...

Whoa...so I'm finally watching Borat on HBO on demand simply because Mel likes to laugh. Refer to Flight of the Conchords, also on HBO - but then again as a New Zealander pointed out to me, the humour is rather local, and since Mel did grow up in Australia, he gets the humour more then me but it is funny.

I didn't see Borat when it first came out because I was in Japan, so now I'm watching it. First ten minutes? My mouth is dropping more than I am laughing. The things people get away with these days, no wondrer Japan didn't want to show it there. I'm cringing more than laughing...OMG he is on the NYC subway, damn New Yorkers CAN be nasty.

Shop 'Till We Drop

So I went to the outlets yesterday. There was a bit of traffic going upstate because there was a Yankee game (and you have to go through the Bronx to go upstate) and the trucks are only allowed to go on the upper level of the George Washington Bridge for security reasons.

My Uncle George was shocked at the size of Woodbury Commons (236 stores). We got there at 1:30-ish and Leah told him that we will spend the whole day there. At first he didn't beleive it but we left at 8:30, and the outlets close at 9. Leah got the best bargain of the day: a North Face Summit Series parka, the outer shell. Original price was $299, she got it after another 50% off for $116. Since they didn't have any inner fleeces in her size at the store (all XS, L and XL) she is going to the North Face Store on the Upper West Side and get it from there.

At Kate Spade, I saw the canvas tote bag that I wanted which is STILL in the stores (well at least the ones in Japan) and was marked down to $125 from $145 and another 25% off. THEN, there were these 3" heels in chocolate suede that fit me like a glove, and they looked damn sexy, real "grown-up" shoes that make you want to wear a pencil skirt every day and wished that you had a job that calls for shoes like that and pencil skirts.

However, my mom reminded me that the shopping today was more of necessity, and no I did not need ANOTHER Kate Spade bag nor did I need 3" heels when I am still a student and will be doing my TA-ing in bare or stockinged feet (because in the building where the class is held we take off our shoes).

And to be honest, I was a bit unsteady in those heels - they felt REALLY high, even though my espadrilles are almost 4". Then again, espadrilles are wedges (though I tripped and fell on my bum last week, and skinned my knee. So much for that then).

At lunch, I got a map from the information booth and proceeded to circle and mark up the map with all the stores that me, mom, Leah and my aunt and Uncle wanted, and made a route. Then we went to J.Crew. Personally, I am not that big of a fan of the J.Crew outlet because the prices are still not a cheap and I can get stuff at the sales even cheaper. However, me being in Japan this past year I really did not have much choice, and the clearance rack - though usually good - didn't have much either.

I picked up a pair of the matchstick jeans, but not the ones that I originally had - these have more stretch. I really wanted a pair to replace my old ones because they can go inside my riding boots, and Leah is permanently lending her red J.Crew jacket since she isn't taking it to Italy - cute outfit, especially with my navy and white striped boatneck sweater, cream wool scarf (which I am going to knit) and patchwork wool newsboy hat (I got it in Annapolis, imported from Ireland) no?

I also got a button down shirt in navy with polka-dots and ruffles on the collar. THAT was a bit pricey but, I liked it and didn't get anything else; sure, the sweaters were cheap, but I have so many J.Crew sweaters so I am just trying to change things up a bit. Plus, the shirt is quite versatile - I can wear it to class, and it jazzes up my suit.

But the one thing that I was REALLY happy about were my new shoes. I finally figured out who makes these ballet flats with a big gold disc on the front - Tory Burch (Reva ballerina flats). I went on the internet and screamed at the initial price - YIKES! - but then also discovered that she was going to open an outlet at Woodbury. In August. So, the question was, will it be open in time when I get there?

Yes! The shoes were not the ones in that photo - they are chocolate brown, with the gold disc. The shoes were not that much cheaper (by $30) but my mom liked them and I got some help as a gift. there was a girl on the train the other day and I pointed them out to my mom (speaking in Greek, however) and at first she thought they were a little too "bling" but on closer inspection, she did concede that they were cute. And I can dress them up too - what I like is that they are such a dark chocolate brown, they look almost black so they are nice, comfy flats to go with my suit. I think I will get these ballet flats (one pair like every three years, however!) from now on - comfy and very versatile. So many colors! but for now, start with the basics.

I am not going to wear them as often, especially since I will be going to class just twice week next semester; like I am really going to dress up to just go to the library. However, I will wear them this Friday; Mel and I were invited to a birthday party of his 2nd cousin's daughter. It's her 18th birthday and in the Philippino culture, 18 is a very big deal, just like the Quincanera for Hispanic 15 year olds and Sweet 16's.

All in all a very good day. I also got Mel two pairs of dress pants and a pair of jeans. One pair of dress pants were in pinstripe; he has never had pinstripe, but I got them since I liked them and they suit him nicely.

Today, aunt and uncle went with my mom to Chinatown, then Union Square, and I stayed behind. Now, I am off to go place 20 books for sale on half.com; I forgot to mention that my first weekend back, I purged my desk and bookcase of all the books I don't need anymore, and today I am going to purge my closet and dresser.

Knitting update: Almost done with the first ball of yarn - I might not be able to make it to knitting group this week because the relatives are here, but I need to figure out what happens after you finish your yarn and need to start with a new ball. Oh, and since I only learned the knit stitch, as Sasquoi pointed out, my mom's scarf with be mostly in garter stitch, with a bunch of other stitches for practice here and there.

We Now Returned to Your Regularly Scheduled Blogging

There was a really stupid reason for why I have been on hiatus for more than a week:

I couldn't blog from my laptop. Ringo was resting for a week.

Never mind that my sister has her own laptop - it's password locked and she won't let me use it (it's a 12" PowerBook and her baby). Never mind that we have wireless in the house: I couldn't get my laptop onto it for some damn reason, and now my sister tried the EXACT same thing that I kept on doing it for a week and she got it. Pfft.

Never mind that my mom has her PC always on the net - I HATE using regular computers. Never mind that I can also use Mel's laptop, however from the hours of 9-12 (around that time) the internet is off limits, so he can trade from home.

I just simply want to use MY laptop. I am used to it. Other laptop users could probably relate.

So, roundup of what I have been doing:

1) Flight: TWENTY-FOUR HOURS of travel, literally from door to door. There was a delay in Detroit because of some strange weather system, otherwise, it would have just been 21 hours. I ended up spending $50 on books from the Borders in the NWA terminal, and picked up a fancy Lancome travel compact with eyeshadow, lipstick and blush and a two pack of Clinique Happy (parfum) from the duty free. Because I wasn't going international, I had to pay the taxes (since I couldn't get this stuff at Kansai due to the stupid rules on cosmetics) but the taxes were cheaper than NYC. Going to get another Lancome compact when I go back to Japan, the colors suit me really nicely, and I get a nice rosy glow with the blush, very fresh.

I JUST made it under the weight limit, but I still had to leave those 10 books behind. Meh. However, I can say that I am pretty seasoned traveler, to go 24 hours and not look completely horrible and gross. And, I beat the jet-lag demons: I stayed up the entire night before my flight, drinking coffee, chatting with Elisa and watching Grey's Anatomy, so I was right proper tired when I got on the plane, and promptly clonked out. I am able to sleep on planes. So no jet-lag whatsoever when I leanded in NYC which was great!

2) Last Week: Started making the rounds to see people. Had dinner with Fordham girls, and the rest of us are planning to go to the Beer Garden over here in Astoria, the last one in NYC. So the rest of the Fordham people will come there, since everyone hasn't been to the Beer Garden yet and want to go. Saw my mom's godson and his family, and have started to drink the frappes like no tomorrow. I promised Alisa I would bring back a shaker and the Nescafe for frappe in Japan.

3)Personal: Eyebrows threaded, hair cut, nails manicured and pedicured (Essie's Capri). My mom was at the salon when my sister and I got our cuts, and she likes me with the golden highlights, and I am going back to get a half head of highlights. With the postponement of the wedding, I chopped my hair, got bangs and asked my stylist to use a razor to cut my hair to give it more oomph. Got my Neutrogena face stuff and it all FEELS good. Had steak too!

4) Mel and Maria: I got a Trek bike! I think its a 2007 or 2006 Trek Hybrid 7200. Mel and I split the cost and it was my anniversary gift. It was our 7 and a half year anniversary this past Sunday, and we spent it riding our bikes to Astoria Park and had lunch. And enjoying the East River view. It looks sorta like this:

However, the black is in blue. At first, I really didn't like it, but then I listened to the bike guys there and they know what they are talking about - I am too big for a women's bike since I am 5'9". It's either a men's bike, or a 20" step-through for me. However, I really couldn't get my leg over the men's bikes and I couldn't afford the nice women's road bikes that come in more sizes (like the one Mel has) so I stuck with the 20" and I am glad I got it.

It's got seat and front-wheel suspension, BIG comfy seat, and flat-proof tires. I'm going to add a rack to it in the back with maybe a side or top-pack so I can put my bag in, a light for night; say if I end up in Cambridge or Princeton, I can zip around like I do in Kyoto (I already zip around in Astoria, but I still need to get a lock, but Astoria and NYC has alot of bike paths, and Central Park is closed to vehicles on the weekends. I am going to try to increase my endurance to get over the Queensboro Bridge to get to Central Park and not rely on the subway). Kinda hard to get on and off, because now it the proper way to do it - I need a lot of space to extend my legs, so I need a big bike. The guys at the shop were aghast at my height. Not really sure if I am into the real hard-core cycling yet - however I got into cycling because that's all I do to get around in Kyoto - but it's a pretty good start, since I am on a hybrid bike.

4) Misc: I learned how to knit! Well all I know now is how to do a long-tail cast on and the knit stitch; this week, I am going to learn garter and purl from the girls in the local knitting group here. I have started a scarf for my mother on size 13 needles with a dark lemony-yellow yarn that my mom chose for her scarf. However, I got a little to cast-on happy when I finally figured it out, so my mom's scarf is going to be like a mini baby blanket, but she doesn't mind. However, I might run out of yarn, unless they restock at the crafts store here. Now that I got the hang of it, I am going to get a nicer/thinner yarn than I have now, on maybe size 9 needles.

Have I started studying yet? NOOOOO. (^_~). And now?

My Aunt Stella and Uncle George (the ones who actually ended up visiting me back in October) are here right now; I am blogging from the back porch of my house. How nice! So they, with my mother and sister they are looking at Google Earth and her dorm in Rome. Tomorrow, I go to Woodbury Common Outlets - woot!

Why Being a Graduate Student Sucks, The Travel Edition

At first, I thought Northwest Airlines was kidding me when I saw that the weight limit was 50lbs. It was always 75! Seriously!

Then Colleen told me in her email that they lowered the weight limit, then she had to pay at the airport.

Oh, $%*#.

I have PAPER. And BOOKS. And RESEARCH. For example, I don't need the conference proceedings from the conference back in December. My FIRST publication. I know I will never read those articles because I don't need to at the moment, but there is a lot of sentimental value - those two books have ISBNs. That means it pretty much like a real book. However, together, those two books are a total of over 1200 A4 size pages - they easily weigh at least 5lbs together, maybe 10? Paper weighs alot.

This is why being a graduate student sucks - you gather all the research that you need in the target country only to realize its a royal pain in the ass to send it through mail and utter hell if you go over the weight limit in the airport because obviously, no foundation or government will give you a first class ticket. Everyone goes through the same thing - tourists buy too many souveneirs for example, Greeks from Astoria pack everything but the kitchen sink to go to the mother country for the two to four month vacation (ah, the memories of Olympic Airways and JFK, seeing people unpack and repack at the ticket counter) - but damn, paper is heavy!!!

Ahh...soooo annoying. You get all this research and you need to bring it home and the only recourse to action is to mail it. But I think at this point, after looking more carefully on NWA's policy for overweight luggage and printing out with me, I might as well just keep some of the books and either toss them (Japanese textbooks) or put them through the mail. And what sucks even more is that USPS changed their policies regarding low-cost freight out of Japan, which is a problem amongst many academics both in and out of Japan - I got the petition to restore the service via the H-Japan list serv email. And the Japan postal system isn't cheap either.

I already took out two Japanese textbooks (but frankly I don't need them, I might just chuck them in the garbage, but for now they stay in the bookcase) - I don't need my paper dictionary or my paper kanji dictionary anymore since I have the electronic dictionary for my Nintendo. I MIGHT take out the regular paper dictionary (since its like 5lbs) and chuck it when I leave Japan for good, because by that time I will have my real hard-core denshi jisho. But for now, the kanji dictionary goes home.

And then there are the clothes! I have a winter coat and a jacket to bring back...bah. So frustrating, but its the books that make things so darn heavy. Need to REPACK. Blah. However, everything else regarding prep (printing boarding pass, checking in online, returning rest of library books, etc. etc. is done)

Now, I am REALLY hoping Mel comes in March with the two empty suitcases (he travels light, I plan to use his weight allowance and he wants to come to Japan) to help me move back. I just checked with JAL (which will be the way I go home in March because the Japanese government pays for it and the weight limit is still at 70lbs thank god!)

UPDATE: Finished packing. Since I got rid of like 10 books and took out one Kate Spade bag (figured I should keep a nice bag here, though I am returning with my green KS bag), I had to repack AGAIN into my medium sized suitcase. But thats ok - when I went to Korea, I used said medium suitcase and the weight was 18 kilos. So I *think* the weight will be fine.

I hope.

She's Making a List, and Checking it Twice

Exchanged yen into dollars: Check (with tears, the exchange rate is so bad right now)
Made sure my passport still has that stupid re-entry sticker: Check
Returned library books: Check
Signed for scholarship: Check
Made reservation for taxi to take me to airport and to return in September: Check
Packed: Half-check
On-line check-in: Check for tomorrow


Laundry: No check
Cleaned apartment: No check


Doing that when? RIGHT NOW.