It's A Small World After All...

I always thought that Lincoln Center was pretty small - it's only about 1400 undergraduates, which was one main reasons why I went there. My high school was built for 1500 but by the time I graduated, there were 3500 students. When my sister graduated three years later, about 4500-5000. Gotta love the overcrowding in the NYC public school system. (I am being sarcastic).

Consequently, everyone knew almost everyone at LC - if you weren't sure who that person was exactly, you either know someone who does, or at least know them by face. It's always a game of "6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon," adjusted to fit the Plaza through the 5th floors (with the 8th and 9th occasionally) at LC.

When I came to Japan, I mentioned that I met Alisa, who is from San Diego, but lived in Astoria for a year. Maybe I didn't. Point being, it was really cool to meet someone of all places in Japan who actually know what Astoria is, and a) is not a native NY-er, b) didn't grow up in Astoria and c) is not Greek.

So imagine my total astonishment when my Kanji teacher asked me what my hometown was, and I said NYC. Too complicated to say Queens, I would have to go into my borough = ward shtick. Nonetheless, I said "Queens," and my Kanji teacher goes on to say, "Really? Do you know Astoria? I lived there for a year."

I was totally happy to hear that! So cool - my teacher lived in Astoria, of all places. Recently, there have been alot of young Japanese people in Astoria, as witnessed by my once twice-daily rides on the subways, and the appearance of three Japanese restaurants in the Ditmars area alone. I told her that I do know of Astoria, I was born and raised there.

"Really? There are alot of Greek people in Astoria."

"Yes there are; my family is Greek, too."

:::smile:::

Only In New York Kids, Only in New York

I like to read the Metropolitan Diary in the New York Times. It's one of my favorite sections, next to David Pogue's tech reviews and blog and the fashion and style section. I like how it chronicles the everyday happenings of NEw York, and some of the great quips that you hear on the bustling streets. There is nothing like catching fragments of a conversation while waiting for a stoplight especially when your iPod is dead. It can be quite entertaining. And it shows that New Yorkers aren't the Devil's Spawn and ready to eat people alive, as popular belief would have it.

I do read the whole paper (albiet online) though - it has some really good articles. I always find myself referring to it in converstation: "Oh yeah, the Times mentioned something like that.." etc. etc.

If there is something really good in the Metropolitan Diary, I post it under the "Quotes" section of my Facebook profile. So today, I remembered to check it, and here was my favorite one:

Dear Diary:

On a Sunday afternoon recently, I was walking down Fifth Avenue right next to a man and his daughter, who was about 6. As we passed Cartier, the girl asked, “What is Cartier?”

He said. “It’s the American Girl Place for big girls,” and I burst out laughing.

So he laughed and said, “Isn’t it?” and I said, “Oh, you are teaching her early.”

He smiled and I said, “Why not!”

***
As a gossip columnist in the Post says, "Only in New York kids, only in New York."

I'm a Survivor, I'm a Blowfish Eater

On a normal, day it takes me about 15 to 20 minutes to get to Kyoto Station. I love the fact that I live right next to two really convenient bus lines. The 206 takes me to Kyoto Station. The 201 takes me to Shijo-Kawaramachi.

But on Thursday (Happy Turkey Day to all!!) it took me an HOUR to get to Kyoto Station. Don't ask me why. I saw alot of people walking around and alot of people at temples; the 206 goes past Yasaka Jinja in Gion, Kiyomizu-dera and Sanjusangendo-dera.

Seriously! What is up with the people in the streets and the temples/shrines? I know that 11/23 was Labor Thanksgiving Day but do they take something like that that seriously in Kyoto? There is always some holiday or festival here, so I have no clue. It's a year long party here.

I got to the Hilton Osaka (where Colleen's mom was staying before heading onto Kyoto) and met up with Colleen. The Hilton is NICE. It beats the regular American Hiltons, hands down. The view was great and in the Excutive Lounge, they had free aperitifs, and little desserts with Moet & Chandon champagne, the whole nine yards. And, the whole hotel was decked with all the boughs of holly that Osaka had to offer. Really nice Christmas Trees.

So, I met Colleen's mom (awesome, nice lady) and we all trooped off for turkey. We went to Tin's-Hall (a DAMN fine bar, according to their website) which had the turkey dinner; unfortunately, the pumpkin pie ran out. It was a total gaijin place, but not as sketchy as I thought. They had COSTCO sized FRENCH"S mustard! The food was good, albeit the potatoes were cold and I wished there was more gravy. Oh well - for turkey dinner 6000 miles away it was pretty good.

Colleen and her mom invited me to stay over with them at the Hilton Osaka. I am so grateful and thankful for the invitation; it made Thanksgiving more like Thanksgiving, if you get what I mean with the families and all. After dinner, we went back to the hotel and sat in the Executive Lounge, we munched on cookies and had coffee and wine. It was really just out of a movie. All that was missing was background music (or was there?)

So the next day, we went back to the Executive Lounge and had breakfast. MMM...I love continental breakfasts. I had granola, eggs, toast, apricots, some dim sum (as there was Japanese and Western breakfasts) and cappucino. After breakfast, Colleen's mom went for a swim and Colleen and I went exploring around the hotel and the adjacent shopping center. We both found an L.L.Bean; there is hardly any L.L. Bean stores (that I know of) in NYC and I find one in Osaka. Go figure. There was a toebag that I liked (the one that Ellen Pompeo's character uses in Grey's Anatomy) but I wanted to double check the price on the American website. It was about $10 cheaper in the United States; however, when you include tax and shipping costs, its about the same price. So it doesn't matter where I get it - so I might as well get it here. Maybe in January. I need a new tote bag for school regardless - my Herve Bag is ready to bite the dust. It's 5 years old, and is ripped on the inside. It did really well and I have taken it everywhere (Greece, London, now here) so it's time to put the French bag to rest.

After L.L.Bean, I said good bye to Colleen and her mom and met up with my Fordham friend, Mayuko. She is from Osaka, but came to the States for college. We hung out and walked all over Osaka - when we got really tired, we headed on back to Mayuko's house. She has alot of cats, but they were so cute! One of them was a orange himalayan, reminded me of Hermione's cat from Harry Potter, Crookshanks.

Amidst all the cooing over her cats, Mayuko asked me where I wanted to eat for dinner. We had ramen earlier at this really famous ramen restaurant. I told her that anything is good; I don't really know Osaka that well and since I heard it's pretty well known for the food I was game for almost anything.

"Do you know blowfish?"

I surely knew about blowfish. I knew that it was ridiculously expensive, somewhat POISONOUS if not prepared properly, and that restuarants needed a license to cook it. I was a bit uneasy about the whole prospect, but I figured why not - Mayuko has been eating it since she was a kid and she certainly isn't dead.

Mayuko's mom is sweet. We had alot of fun at the blowfish restuarant; it was a place that Mayuko's family has been going to for over 25 years - as her mom put it "Mayuko has been eating here since before she was born."

Eating blowfish is a process. There is a bowl of water with seaweed in it boling to make a stock for soup, and you put some of the blowfish and veggies in it - nabe. There is also blowfish sashimi: really thin pieces of raw blowfish. I was glancing at it a bit warily (raw fish that can kill you?) but her mom showed me that I can take the sashimi and swish it through the boiling soup, shabu-shabu style. So I did that for most of the sashimi. I was getting really full, and the shiitake mushrooms were amazing. I even tried a little bit of this sake that has bit of cooked blowfish in it (I think, or was it mushroom?) for flavor. It was really strong, just as strong as tsipuro.

The restuarant was really nice; very traditional, with private tatami rooms for eating upstairs in addition to the stools and bar downstairs for casual diners. The people that owned the restaurant lived behind the restaurant and knew Mayuko's family pretty well, I beleive. All in all it was a nice experience, and I know that this is something I would not have done if I had not known Mayuko.

Mayuko and her mom then dropped me off at the JR Osaka station and I headed back on home. Every time I take the JR, I have to ask someone to just double check if I am on the right platform - they do indicate it on the signs in both English and Japanese but for all the efficiency of the Japanese rail system, it is sure complicated. Took me about an hour and a half to get home - the streets in Kyoto were still crowded, but at least the but was only a half hour.

Turkey for Me and Turkey for You!

I like Turkey Day.

I like it alot. Turkey, gravy, stuffing, my mom's sauteed peas and carrots, pastitsio (Greek lasagna, no tomato sauce), and all the other goodies. Mashed potato! Don't care too much for sweet potato pie though, especially if it has marshmallows. I don't like marshmallows. Only in s'mores, and piping hot.

Every Thursday at the Lincoln Center cafeteria was "Turkey Thursday." They served up Thanksgiving dinner all year round, with gravy, stuffing, mashed potato, veggies, cranberry sauce and mac&cheese. That, next to the quesadillas and the wraps was the best thing the Sodexho (otherwise known as the distributers of poison) made. Great tradition. Bad for the waistline.

Which begs the question: What are you doing for Thanksgiving, Maria?

I am having turkey in Osaka.

As Felicia succinclty stated: "Bet that you would have never thought that you would be saying that."

This is my second Thanksgiving abroad. The first time around, I was in London; the study abroad program that I applied to to go SOAS hosted a big American style Thanksgiving dinner at a hotel. It was a BUFFET. All you can eat turkey and mashed potato!

However, I was somewhat sick at the time; I was coming down with a fever, so I did not have that much of an appetite. For shame! Waste of good gravy.

But today, oh TODAY, I am taking the JR train from Kyoto to Osaka station, meeting up with Colleen and her mom and going to this pub place for turkey dinner, for 1300yen a plate. It was my idea to go somewhere for Thanksgiving - I'll bet there is no kitchen in an apartment occupied by a student within a radius of 50 miles that can handle turkey. That, and I'll bet there is not a whole turkey to be found within a radius of 100 miles. I read in my Kyoto guidebook that there was a pub that had turkey dinner, but (sadly) there is no turkey this year, due to a lack of interest.

So, the wheels in my head began to turn. Obviously, Tokyo will have turkey dinners galore because a) it is the capital of Japan and b) there are alot of expats in Tokyo, more than in any other place in Japan. So, a bit of trivia:

If Tokyo is to Kanto, then what is to Kansai? (No amount of SAT prep would enable you to answer this one, unfortuantely for you).

OSAKA. Kanto and Kansai are specific regions of Japan, and you can pretty much say that the rivalry between the two regions is as hot as a Bosox/Yankees rivavlry. The question is, who is more crazier. (I hear that at baseball games, Osakans go nuts.) Alisa confirmed that Bosox fans are crazy, as evidenced in their first World Series win back in 2004 in god knows how long. Can anyone say, "1918"? (But that was when Babe Ruth was traded, hence the "Curse of the Bambino.")

I am pretty sure it's the largest city in the Kansai area, and hence, lotsa expat places to go to. Generally, it is Colleen's, Ingram's, Alisa's and my prerogative and mantra to STAY AWAY from places where gaijin congregate. No bueno. We do not adhere to that stereotype! However as Colleen said, "It's Thanksgiving. We need turkey."

Yes, I do need my turkey. Colleen needed her turkey too. We both like turkey.

Next step: Google.

I began a search on places for Thanksgiving dinner, and after 10 minutes I found a place in Osaka that not only has Turkey on 11/23, but also 11/24. Since 11/23 is Turkey Day in the States, we go on 11/23 here. As I told Colleen, her mom being here adds to the whole "family-ish" aspect of the holiday, soo I am really looking foward to it.

What is even cooler is that 11/23 in Japan is "Labor Thanksgiving Day" (i.e. Labor Day, without the barbeques and the rule of putting all your white clothes away). The Japanese like their holidays. There was one on 11/3 that was "Culture Day." I think there might be more holidays here than in the US. Since 11/23 is Labor Thanksgiving Day, we had the day off from school. Coincidentally, 11/23 is on a Thursday; 11/23 is Thanskgiving Day back home. It is also the big "November Festival" this weekend at school (don't ask me why or what is going on during that time) so we also have Friday off.

Can anyone say, "FOUR DAY WEEKEND!"

So, today I eat my turkey. Tomorrow, I go back to Osaka and meet up with a college friend of mine who is from Osaka, but came to the States for college. And either Saturday or Sunday, I go to Osaka again with Alisa, to go to a spa.

Alternatively, this can also be called "Osaka to the Third Power."

Or, "Google Saves the Day (Once Again!)" - I found the spa in Osaka on google.

"I Got Munchies"

No, I did not get drunk and then get the munchies. Haven't even had a cup of sake yet, and I prefer plum wine nevertheless.

Colleen's friend Haru said the above statement, at the sushi-on-a-conveyor-belt place.

Sushi-on-aconveyor-belt has become my friend. For 525 yen I get full. And I eat sushi.

Yeah baby! :::Bad Austin Powers Imitation goes HERE:::

Austin Powers aside, last night was fun. I went bowling with Ingram, Colleen and Colleen's two friends Haru and Shu.

Haru is very good. According to Colleen's blog he was on the bowling team in JHS and HS - reminds me of a high school classmate who was into bowlin. I forgot most of what I learned from the "old timers" at my local bowling alley, and sorely missed my glittery green bowling ball. I'm a lefty. Makes things a bit difficult.

Case in point: when Ellie and Kathy used to play softball back in the ICYP days, I ended up playing righty because I was not part of ICYP and thus, did not have my own glove. I always had to borrow, so I played righty. I am a switch-hitter, though I keep forgetting which is right and which is left.

No matter. Point being, the world is made for rightys, and us southpaws either have to shell out the dough (though Mel got my bowling ball for me) to get the lefty versions or customized versions of stuff, or we have to adapt. It's a mixture of both.

Still, my bowling ball back home is cool. Its emerald green. With glitter. And no one else can use it because it's for a LEFTY.

:::Evil Grin:::

Sometimes being a lefty pays off. There is no one around most of the time that can borrow your stuff (at least in terms of sports) unless they want to play ass-backwards. Ergo, lefties are more versatile. We have to adapt to a world made for righties, and we can still switch back comfortably when lefty stuff presents itself.

However, that does not mean I will operate power tools beyond an electric drill. Operating power tools made for righties is the cause for the highest occurence of injury and death amongst lefties. I heard that somewhere and since then, I take no chances.

I digress.

Ingram took the cake when he put on this costume thing that was designed to make you look like a human bowling pin. Not only did he wear the bowling in costume, he wore the PINK bowling pin costume, complete with tartan skirt and bow.

I actually got a few strikes - Mel would be proud. He kicks my butt at bowling all the time. I think I had a personal score of 137 after two games.

Haha. I suck at bowling. But its fun. Another good part was when Colleen fell on her butt, and when Ingram threw back the ball so hard it fell out of his hand and onto the floor. No one got hurt though thank god.

At dinner (sushi-on-a-conveyor belt) Colleen, Ingram and I were teaching Haru the concept of "I got the munchies" and what a "sketchy person" is. However, things got a little bit lost in translation, and Haru ended up saying "All japanese are sketchy." I was sending a text at the time, and my head just popped up in amazament. Colleen and Ingram quickly rectified the situation.

"Munchies" was easy to explain, as Haru told us that whenever he drinks beer (as he was at the moment) he gets hungry. So, Colleen and I pretty much said that "In the States, when that happens, we say 'I have the munchies'".

Did I Mention...

...that my apartment comes with a FREE tv? The person before me left it behind and my landlord said I can use it.

So now I can watch Japanese telly!

Already I Have Been Away for Too Long

A snippet of a conversation between me (in Kyoto) and Felicia (in NYC):

Felicia: they (her b/f and his friend, curently working in Australia) live together on the island
Me: an ISLAND?
Felicia: noo lol long island
Me: ooooo
Felicia: hehehe
Me: ok i have been outta the country for too long
Felicia: uve been gone too long

I am losing my NYC vocabulary.

:::sniff sniff:::

Cue the depressing mortuary music.

My Own Place

I did the one thing that almost every college grad does after graduation:

I got my own apartment. One that is tiny, a studio and I pay utilities separate from the rent. I can afford it with my stipend - I won't be able to save as much as I wanted, but it's my own place. I need space and privacy. I signed the contract today, got the paperwork to get the guarantor, and e-mailed my nice Aussie landlady to let her know that I found a place.

So excited! And it's in the same neighborhood as the one I currently live in right now; has INTERNET, a BALCONY and is pretty decently priced. Semi-furnished as well - there is this unit thing that is a combination of a bed frame and cabinets on the wall. You pull the bed frame away from the wall and in theory push it back up to save space, but I will keep the bed out - with enough cushions it would make a cute little couch.

I like the neighborhood I am in - it's quiet, filled with families and grannies. And there is a post office and Family Mart right nearby so there are the conveniences needed. And a bunch of little restaurants and a coffee shop - Colleen is moving into the neighborhood as well (at a dorm) so we plan to cover all the restaurants and coffee shops in the neighborhood.

I don't have a closet but who cares! I have MY OWN apartment. It's in a great and quiet neighborhood. And contrary to conservative Kyoto belief, I did not have to pay an arm and a leg in gift money (think I deposit that you never get back, it's a horrible system) and my landlord will help me set up the gas and electric and the internet is ALREADY installed and ready to go. It's basically wireless (two routers per floor) but there is a cable running along the ceiling of the hallway into my apartment so I don't need the wireless password, just hook up the cable and ready to go.

Ready to go because I have a Mac - it's just alot easier to set up internet. And I came by the apartment earlier in the week and tested the internet and it was all set. I took some pics to show to parents, sister some other people and Mel for opinions, but I will post and e-mail once I am done furnishing and decorating.

I can go to the 100-yen shop and get Christmas decorations!

Boring Laptop Cases Need Not Apply

In addition to the somewhat eventful "tsunami" of TWENTY-THREE inches in northern Hokkaido, yesterday was interesting for another reason.

I went to my first temple bazaar. There is a temple right across the street from school on Imadegawa. My 4 hour afternoon class was cancelled (HALLELUJAH!) and since I was talking to Chen about the bazaar thats on Higashi-Ichijo-Dori (you try rolling that off your tongue 10x fast) on the 26th she mentioned that there was a temple bazaar right near school going on now.

So I went to the bazaar. I knew which temple it was because I dropped by there when Uncle George and Aunt Stella were in town a few weeks ago; they like to take pictures and see everything.

Very crowded, as it was the middle of the say (around 3pm). Still, some of the stals were starting to pack up so next month - go there early.

I wandered around, seeing if anything caught my eye. ALOT of stuff caught my eye - the Japanese are GREAT at making crafts and little things. But, I am a student, and on a tight budget. I am forcing myself to be on a tight budget.

That doesnt' mean I am allowed a few induglences once in awhile. Case in point: I found a SPA in Osaka run by an Middle Eastern woman that does actual eyebrow WAXING. And FACIALS. All western style - Japanese pedicures are too funky (sparkly rhinestones, anyone?) and they don't believe in the concept of waxing.

No hot wax today. Instead, a laptop bag.

If you read a few (rather, more than a few) blogs ago, I mentioned how I got a MacBook and I wanted a new laptop case. I am not the corporate type (I like the look of the suits, but that does not mean I will wear a black suit with a white button down shirt to work everyday), so that means PLAIN BLACK LAPTOP CASE = NO-NO. I had a plain, black laptop case for my old Sony, and did i ever use it? No.

However, Kate Spade has not issued the Larabee Dot Noel laptop case in MacBook-size, and most of the manufacturing companies hadn't either. The industry thinks that MacBook = 15" Powerbook so no new cases specifically for the MacBook. And hardly any that were interesting. It took me awhile to get an interesting one (khaki burlap lined in fleece) and I had to find it on the net.

But that was a sleeve. And I am digressing. I needed something with handles. Something interesting, and something that fit the laptop perfectly.

I found it at the temple bazaar. A little tote bag - yellow patterned fabric, with army-green canvas handles and a mouse named "Chu" appliqued on the front. I was talking to the lady who was selling the bag and was saying that there were alot (plain pink with cherries and green with mushrooms appliqued) that were really cute! And they were and either 600 or 800 yen which is great. In the end I chose "Chu" the mouse.

Got a tiny pair of earrings and a cute barrette too for under 1000yen as well and 2 cool postcards to put on my wall (matching) but the highlight was the bag, now with my laptop sleeve:

A Lesson in Japanese Geography

I appreciate the concern.

I really do! Honestly!

Thanks for asking if I am fine. No, the tsunami DID NOT hit me.

The earthquake was in NE Japan, slightly off the tip of Hokkaido. Which led to a small, 16-inch tsunami.

As Cat said, "Wow, your knees would have been SOAKED."

Gotta love the sarcasm. Still, there would have been problems if the tsunami hit me, in LANDLOCKED, SW Kyoto.

Dont' worry! I am fine.

Laundry Woes

In London, it was that one particular dryer that still left you clothes damp.

And the fact that there was only ONE laundry room for about 400 students.

In Greece, my grandfather's house was old so it only had a washer. Then again, it was over 90 degrees almost every day so drying was not really an issue.

In Japan - most of the houses usually don't have a dryer. According to a forum member, there is a washer that also does double-duty as a dryer.

Beats me. Japanese always has funky appliances, with more buttons than you can shake a stick at. Don't get me started on the "washlet."

I did my laundry on Saturday. Today was MONDAY. Over 48 hours of drying off hangers and the pole in my little veranda, and they were STILL BLOODY DAMP.

The following things didn't help much:

1) Cold weekend.
2) Me not opening the shoji screens to the veranda, which would have in effect allowed the heat from the electric heater spread throughout the entire room.
3) There is usually a big temp difference between the windows/wall to the outisde and the shoji screens to my room. So my cloths were in a cold hovel all weekend.

When I woke up this morning and felt my clothes, I was utterly pissed. I had two weeks worth of laundry hanging and was resorting to wearing skirts because all my jeans were worn. So, I called my koto teacher, cancelled my lesson and set about the task to taking my clothes down the hill in a laundry basket that was about to rip at the seams (cheap one from the 100-yen shop) to the coin laundry near my house.

Bah humbug. This morning was SO not off to a good start.

But then, I had a eureka moment.

The temperature in the veranda is different from the room--> so if i crank the heat up on the electric heater and stick it in the veranda--> the veranda will warm up and contain that heat to dry the clothes!

Granted, the veranda was so cold that I couldn't tell if the clothes were still damp or just really cold. Its 100 yen for just EIGHT minutes of drying at the coin laundry. I did the whole laundry once there because I needed to wash my sheets and towels and I decided to to the rest along with it - it ended up almost costing me 2000 yen.

And don't worry, I wasn't going to start a fire. My clothes were secure on hangers and on the pole, 2 feet about the heater.

Now I am in the process of ironing my clothes. I am slowly becoming to like ironing - it's quite contemplative.

Them Hot Buns

Today, I was wandering around the co-op in the basement of the University Centential Clock Tower (or "Clock Tower") trying to find something cheap and relatively decent to eat.

The co-op is great. Its like everything a student needs, all in one floor. Dry cleaning, pharmacy, photocopying, and various sundries, stationary and food that you need as a student to survive.

I always thought that the drinks were cold because they have those dispalys with the cold drinks - you know the ones at the delis that dont have the doors, but rather you can pick up the stuff in. Turns out, not only does Japan have ones that cool the drinks, they have ones that HEAT the drinks. I learned this yesterday, so my coffee intake has somewhat increased. I am trying to lay off the coffee though - hence me getting Royal Milk Tea. It's more like English Breakfast tea, but they way they make it is very sweet so I think I will go back to the green tea.

But, buns?

No, I am not talking about rear ends.

Ever hear of sticky buns, or pork buns? Those of you who are Asian/lived in Asia/know about Asia/eat a good amount of Asian food know about them. They are this doughy little balls filled with stuff in it. I never really approached it until today because I had a eureka! moment and finally realized what they were - not poison.

One in particular got my attention. "Pizaa."

Eh?

Of course it was written in KATAKANA (damn that syllabary) so it took me the required 5 minutes of starting at it to figure it out.

PIZZA! A bun filled with pizza flavoring!

Of course, I got it. It was only 100yen.

This is my new favorite snack. Pizza-bun and anything with matcha in it.

Plink, Plank, PLONK

Do you have ANY idea of how hard it is to tune a koto?

It took me over an HOUR and a HALF to tune that damn thing. I was trying to utilize the internet as a means to help me tune the piece of string crap that is the "o-koto" and it wasn't helping much. I kept on getting more confused, as there are DIFFERENT means ot tune the koto.

Bah!!!!

I wanted to practice the songs I learned today in my koto lesson. Thing is, my teacher tunes the koto somewhat differently in terms of placing the bridges, even though the tune is the same. So for now, I will just tune it the way I know how to tune it and just pay close attention to my teacher's tuning. When my ear gets good enough, then I will move the bridges. For now, those suckers stay put. I take no risks whatsoever. I have alot to practice this week - for just one hour, we covered quite a bit.

Luckily, I found a website for little kids that plays the note on each string one at a time. With my new nifty Korg electronic tuner, I played the note on the website and figured out what the note was, then adjusted the bridge for each string accordingly. This was progress after 1 hour and 10 minutes of glaring at that thing.

Plink!